Assorted funny quotes

“ The idea of an office is great. It gives a person a place to escape the miseries of home”. – Milton Berle

“Organised people are just people who are too lazy to look for things”.

“Im very organised, everything is in one big pile”. – Duck and cover

“I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want to have to see you every day”. –Ephemera

“Due to the highly confidential natire of my job, I am not allowed to know what I am doing”.

“My soul was removed to make way for all this sarcasm”. – duck and cover

“Death is lifes way of telling you you’re fired”. – R. Geis

“I’m ready to meet my maker. Whether my maker is ready for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter”. – W. Churchill

“when I was a boy, the dead sea was only sick”. – G. Burns

“ I knew I was going bald when it was taking longer and longer to wash my face”.- H. Hill

“I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if im not there I carry on as usual”. – Patrick Moore

“my mother is no spring chicken, although she has as many chemicals in her as one”. -Dame Edna

“old people should not eat health foods, they need all the preservatives they can get”. – R. Orben

“youth is a wonderful thing, what a crime to waste it on children”. – G, B. Shaw