A visibly angry Apple CEO has hinted that its Worldwide Developers Conference (WWDC) may have a seismic shift in location. Tim Cook, who has helmed the tech behemoth since Steve Jobs’ passing, had one hand half clenched – the angriest body language ever witnessed.
The focus of his fury is the perceived hijacking of the significant announcements on iOS 8 and OSX Yosemite, by the leak of 45 photos from the set of Star Wars Episode VII, currently shooting in Abu Dhabi.
“How vacuous has the world become, where announcements on technology that outpaces anything Star Wars lore has ever come up with, is overtaken by some bad quality photos taken on a non-iPhone,” Mr Cook fumed.
“There’s not one Death Star in those damn pics, but we just announced stuff that will kill half the cloud services in the known universe. And nil reportage of a million voices crying out in terror.”
When prompted on what a popular culture icon the Star Wars franchise has become, Cook was dismissive.
“We’ll see how iconic they are after we hit Abu Dhabi with a full sci-fi themed WWDC next year. And if JJ Abrams thinks his free iCloud storage limit expansion is continuing, he’s in for a hell of a surprise.”
“Oh and one other thing: are they calling this movie Star Wars: Return to Shelbyville? If that’s not a half-built monorail in a bunch of those those pics, I’ll eat an Android phone.”
The Snark is The Creative Shed’s Satire News Section. 100% of it is satire and in no way resembles reality. Reality is way sillier than this stuff. Follow The Snark on Facebook and Twitter
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