The young man came running into the store and said to his mate “Johnno, somebody just stole your ute from the parking lot!”
Johnno replied “Did ya see who it was?”
The young man answered “I couldn’t tell, but I got the license number”.
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Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises.
“How do you account for this?” he asked the brothers.
“It’s hereditary, sir” the older one replied.
“I see” said the doctor, writing in his file.
“Your father’s the reason for your elongated penises?”
“No sir, our mother”.
“Your mother? You idiot, women don’t have penises!”
“I know, sir” replied the recruit “But she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best she could!”
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A guy is watching a film with creepy organ music on the TV and suddenly yells “No! No! Don’t enter that church, you damn fool!”
His wife asks him “What are you watching?”
Husband replies “Our wedding video”.
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