No, this isn’t the virtual world in question

Interesting little announcement / press release – mostly for some of the claims being made or assumptions on approaches of a range of other virtual worlds for children. I also find it fascinating that nowhere in the press release does it provide a URL or other info, so it’s hard to know whether this is an actual launch or something coming up further down the track:

CHRISTIAN KIDS GET THEIR OWN BIBLE-BASED VIRTUAL WORLD

A recent survey of Christian families revealed that parents concerned about keeping their kids safe online want more God-first, Bible-based destinations for their digital kids.

 

Kids Bible Adventures is the first virtual world for Christian kids and their families that lets kids explore and experience the world of the Bible and its heroes using tablets and cell phones in a way that simply wasnâ€t possible before digital and mobile technology. The virtual world includes Bible-based adventure games, rich 3D animation, plus photo and video sharing with friends and family through a Christian-centered social network.

“There are over 700 online virtual worlds which attract more than 500 million kids under the age of 13 and yet not a single one is dedicated to the Bible and its Christian teachings”, says Ian Jones, the founder of Kids Bible Adventures. “As a Christian parent I want my kids to be safe online, to form Christian friendships, to explore the Bible, and to come away with positive values and Iâ€m not alone.” Jones, who is the former executive producer of the award-winning TV series, FARMkids, has put together a powerhouse team to build Kids Bible Adventures. “When I conducted a survey of Christian parents I found over 98 percent were just as concerned as I was that instead of Christâ€s message of love our children were all too often exposed to violence and values that just werenâ€t Christian online so I decided to do something about it.”

This is a very special virtual world. Kids Bible Adventures lets kids, between the ages of 5 and 10, actually experience the Bible in a way never before possible. “They will be able to help Noah load the animals into the Ark; stand beside David as he loads that single smooth stone into his slingshot and slays Goliath; sit at the feet of Jesus, munching on loaves and fishes; blow their trumpets as they march around the walls of Jericho; follow the star with the three kings to Jesus†manger; or help the Good Samaritan,” explains Jones. “And each Bible adventure can be shared with parents, teachers, pastors, and friends through mobile apps.  By ‘living†the Bible, kids will learn and love Godâ€s teachings, emulate the values, and become better, stronger, more informed Christians,” he adds.

Developed by International Entertainment Development Corporation (IEDC) a faith and values-based childrenâ€s entertainment and education company with offices in the U.S. and Australia, Kids Bible Adventures brings the Bible to life for todayâ€s digital kids. Not only does this Christian project include a 3D immersive virtual world complete with avatars, quests, tasks and virtual goods, but it also integrates three of the fastest growing virtual trends on the Internet today – social media, online games, and mobile apps.

What’s your take?

A little boy was overheard praying:
‘Lord, if you can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it.
I’m having a real good time like I am.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the christening of his baby brother in church,
Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied,
‘That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home,
and I wanted to stay with you guys.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One particular four-year-old prayed,
‘And forgive us our trash baskets
as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they
were on the way to church service,
‘And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?’
One bright little girl replied,
‘Because people are sleeping.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3.
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson..
‘If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
‘Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.’
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,
‘ Ryan , you be Jesus !’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A father was at the beach with his children
when the four-year-old son ran up to him,
grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore
where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
‘Daddy, what happened to him?’ the son asked.
‘He died and went to Heaven,’ the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said,
‘Did God throw him back down?’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A wife invited some people to dinner.
At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
‘Would you like to say the blessing?’
‘I wouldn’t know what to say,’ the girl replied.
‘Just say what you hear Mommy say,’ the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said,
‘Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?’

Grumpy leads the pack.

‘Grumpy, my son,’ says the Pope, ‘What can I do for you?’

Grumpy asks, ‘Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome ?’

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, ‘No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome .’

In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling.

Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them.

Grumpy turns back, ‘Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe ?’

The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, ‘No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe ..

‘This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter.

Once again, Grumpy turns around and silences them with an angry glare.

Grumpy turns back and says, ‘Mr.. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?’

The Pope, really confused by the questions says, ‘I’m sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.’

The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin chanting……

‘Grumpy shagged a penguin!’
‘Grumpy shagged a penguin!’

Every word out of the bird’s’ mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to ‘clean up’ the bird’s vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked, kicked, and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and
unforgivable behaviour.”

John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird spoke-up, very softly, “May I ask what the turkey did?”

Merry Christmas…….

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn’t really all that hard – a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment.

They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experience.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs,went first. ‘Well,’ he said, ‘I
went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.

Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy
Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.’

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next.. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best
fire-and-brimstone oratory, he claimed, ‘WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don’t sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began
to read to my bear from God’s HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We
wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek.

So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb.. We spent the rest of the day
praising Jesus..Hallelujah!

The priest and the reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs
and monitors running in and out of him.

He was in really bad shape.

The Rabbi looked up and said: “Looking back on it, ……circumcision may not have been the best way to start.”

The novices replied, “Good morning, Mother Superior, may God be with you.”

But after they had passed, Mother Superior heard one say to the other, “I think she got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.” This startled Mother Superior, but she chose not to pursue the issue.

A little further down the hall, Mother Superior passed two of the Sisters who had been teaching at the convent for several years. She greeted them with, “Good morning, Sister Martha, Sister Jessica, may God give you wisdom for our students today.”

“Good morning, Mother Superior. Thank you, and may God be with you.”
But again, after passing, Mother Superior overheard, “She got up on the wrong side of the bed today.”
Baffled, she started to wonder if she had spoken harshly, or with an irritated look on her face. She vowed to be more pleasant.

Looking down the hall, Mother Superior saw retired Sister Mary approaching, step by step, with her walker. As Sister Mary was rather deaf, Mother Superior had plenty of time to arrange a pleasant smile on her face before greeting Sister Mary.
“Good morning, Sister Mary. I’m so happy to see you up and about. I pray God watches over you today, and grants you a wonderful day.”

“Ah, Good morning, Mother Superior, and thank you. I see you got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.”

Mother Superior was floored! “Sister Mary, what have I done wrong? I have tried to be pleasant, but three times already today people have said that about me.”

Sister Mary stopped her walker, and looked Mother Superior in the face.
“Oh, don’t take it personally, Mother Superior. It’s just that you’re wearing Father Murphy’s slippers.”

I have two female parrots,

But they only know how to say one thing.’

‘What do they say?’ the priest inquired.

They say,

‘Hi, we’re hookers!

Do you want to have some fun?’

That’s obscene!’ the priest exclaimed,

Then he thought for a moment.
‘You know,’ he said,

‘I may have a solution to your problem.

I have two male talking parrots,

Which I have taught to pray and read the Bible.

Bring your two parrots over to my house,

And we’ll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.

My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship,

And your parrots are sure to stop saying . .

That phrase . . In no time.’

Thank you,’ the woman responded,

‘this may very well be the solution.’

The next day,

She brought her female parrots to the priest’s house.

As he ushered her in,

She saw that his two male parrots
Were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying.

Impressed,
She walked over and placed her parrots in with them.

After a few minutes,

The female parrots cried out in unison:

Hi, we’re hookers!

Do you want to have some fun?’

There was stunned silence.

Shocked,

One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot

And exclaimed,

‘Put the beads away, Frank.
Our prayers have been answered!’

Why? Well, letâ€s take a step back and look at the basic idea that already exists.

Most people are members of one of the 20 or so major religions, pretty much all of which have the concept of the avatar in common. Throughout religious philosophy and doctrine, your body and brain are considered to be your avatar, a vehicle for the actual you that continues on. The body is the avatar of the spirit (and in a couple of religions, the spirit itself is in turn an avatar of something outside).

Throughout our religious education and observations, the point is hammered home again and again – your body is your avatar in this world. This idea has now persisted for millennia, even though it is not widely associated with the word used to describe it.

And after thousands of years, it still hasnâ€t actually sunk in, even among many of the most devout.

From that perspective, virtual environments and avatars are a natural extension of our beliefs about the universe and our place in it. Weâ€re just not really ‘getting†that whole avatar thing, even though it is one of the central tenets of our varied religious beliefs.

Do I really think that James Cameron is going to be more successful with a US$237 million film budget where our most deeply held and treasured faiths about life and the nature of the universe have failed?

Not so much, no.

If you are already comfortable with the notion of an avatar, Cameronâ€s film doesnâ€t really add anything to your understanding. For those who are not, I put it to you that the concepts those people end up attaching to the word, based on the film, will not be the same ideas that you already hold from experience.

Either way, weâ€ve gained nothing in our understanding of the concept of the ‘avatarâ€, and sometimes I wonder if we ever really will, as a culture.

The priest asks, ‘Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?’
‘Yes, Father, it is.’

‘And who was the girl you were with?’

‘I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation’.

“Well, Joey, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later
so you may as well tell me now.

Was it Tina Minetti?’

‘I cannot say.’

‘Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?’

‘I’ll never tell.’

‘Was it Nina Capelli?’

‘I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.’

‘Was it Cathy Piriano?’

‘My lips are sealed.’

‘Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?’

‘Please, Father, I cannot tell you.’

The priest sighs in frustration.

‘You’re very tight lipped, and I admire that.
But you’ve sinned and have to atone.
You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months.
Now you go and behave yourself.’

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers,

‘What’d you get?’

Joey turns with a smile and says,
‘4 months holiday and five good leads’.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town’s only bar one after noon.

She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that every one seeing it there WOULD KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING !
Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn’t explain, defend, or deny.
He said nothing..

Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred’s house … walked home . . .and left it there all night.

(You gotta love Frank!)

There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave because he is so popular.

Fred Smith, who owns several car dealerships in Southland and Otago, stands up and proclaims: ‘If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Holden every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!’

The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says, ‘If the Vicar will stay on here, I’ll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education of his children!’

More sighs and loud applause.

Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, ‘If the Vicar stays, I will give him sex.’

There is total silence.

The Preacher, blushing, asks her:

‘Mrs. Jones, you’re a wonderful and holy lady, whatever possessed you to say that?’

Agnes’s 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies: ‘Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, ‘Fuck him’.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?”

When April didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. “GOD ALMIGHTY!” shouted April and the teacher said, “Very good” and April fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked April, “Who is our Lord and Saviour,” But, April didn’t even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ‘JESUS CHRIST!” shouted April and the teacher said, “very good,” and April fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked April a third question. “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?” And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, “IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I’LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!”

The Teacher fainted.